Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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