Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
