3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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