I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
