I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
