She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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