If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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