Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
