I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize