He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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