I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
