Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
