Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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