Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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