how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just come out here and I will go home with you...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
