It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
