Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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