They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize