im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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