Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize