Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
