She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
