dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
