Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
