just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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