Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
