i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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