Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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