and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
