Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
