Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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