I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
