My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
