i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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