I am puke
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
