he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
