I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
