buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
