I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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