I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize