I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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