; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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