Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
