connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize