Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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