The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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