I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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