do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
