I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize