I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
