Yo dont text me then not text me
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
