So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
