this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
