super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
