If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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