I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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