I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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