Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize