There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize