I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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