The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
