Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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