So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
