just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
