dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
