They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
