so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
