Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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