We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Randomize
