Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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