I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
