I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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