There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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