We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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