After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Randomize
