im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my mouth tastes like poor choices
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
