you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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