You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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