she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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