I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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