in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize