eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
