I'm drive I can fine osifer
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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