Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
