forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
