He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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