Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
