I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
